風繼續吹

風繼續吹

張國榮

我勸你早點歸去　你說你不想歸去
祇叫我抱著你　悠悠海風輕輕吹
冷卻了野火堆
我看見傷心的你　你叫我怎捨得去
哭態也絕美　如何止哭　祇得輕吻你髮邊

讓風繼續吹　不忍遠離
心裡極渴望　希望留下伴著你
風繼續吹　不忍遠離
心裡亦有淚　不願流淚望著你

過去多少快樂記憶　何妨與你一起去追
要將憂鬱苦痛洗去　柔情蜜意我願記取
　要強忍離情淚　未許它向下垂
愁如鎖眉頭聚　別離淚始終要下垂

我已令你快樂　你也令我痴痴醉
你已在我心　不必再問記著誰
留住眼內每滴淚　為何仍斷續流默默垂

為何仍斷續流默默垂

無辦法

我今晚係好唔開心。

不過，踢足球的老細提醒我，做記者，無得發達，要發達，請去別處。

當頭捧喝。

我記得，以前成日同好朋友講理想：e要挑戰權貴、v要為環保出力，c要拯救祖國…我好為我有咁多有理想既朋友，感到驕傲。

但係，佢地而家都做緊其他野。

我唔係怪佢地，人始終係現實既，但既然我仲未向現實低頭，繼續堅持理想，係人工低d，但點解要唔開心？

Foward: Jackass Breakup

JACKASS BREAKUP
Message: So the medication for the JACKASS-BREAK-UP
is....

1. Cry real hard when he tells you what's in his
mind... take it all deep inside and personal

2. be the victim and tell him how much you loved
him and how much you have given

3. When he says sorry, tell him dun say it to you
because he has done nothing wrong to you and it's
natural to end a relationship. INSTEAD, tell him to
be sorry for himself cos he has given you up

4. By the end of the conversation, try to make it
light and all happy... so as to lessen the pressure
and make him thinks that you are as CUTE and
ADORABLE as always

5. Remeber: DUN GET UNGLY!!! dun scold him or
tell him what he really is (fucker...i mean). Be as
elegant and as understanding as possible

5. Do a couple of phone calls with your favourite
friends... now BE UGLY!!! (of course dun go too
far...you are an adult) cos they are your friends!!!
and they are there to support you!

6. After hours of phone calls and crying, you must
be really tired... Get a very good sleep. Of course,
dun think of the jerk before you sleep.... (maybe
just leaving him a voice msg..... let him know how
much he had screwed up the week...becos of what
he had done.... )

7. Wake up in the morning, feeling all good and
easy cos this is not the end of the world.... If he is
not really that such a jerk... he will send you an
sms after hearing your voice msg. He will also
mention about calling you later that day.... well,
girls, if you dun feel like it, jus dun pick it up..who
cares~ he has done everything that goes along his
will, then you should do too, let him be worried and
anxious. Love yourself girl~ In fact, you are gonna
do fine cos he left you but you didnt leave him...
that's the point honey

8. one more thing!!! Gotta tell the world that you
jus break up.... so then the others will know they
now have a chance!!! Also, do show up in pubs
more often and BE PRETTY!!!!! not that telling you
to be a poufiasse... but Let the boys to help
gaining your confidence back!!

9. okay~ If by chance he asks you to meet, Fine~
jus go~ but once again BE PRETTY and EASY!!!
BE YOUR REAL SELF!!! because that's the girl
that he used to like... then he will be really sorry

The rule of the whole medication is.. dun
overdose...and dun get too ugly.

Trust me, Everything's gonna be fine, honey!

**I broke the first 5 rules the last time I broke up haha. I never allow myself to be a victim, that's it.

小東西並不可愛

除了頭痛和喉嚨痛外，我的手臂還是痛。手臂痛不是因為感冒，而是由3天前，抱著18磅的小東西到處走而來的。

這小東西是小學同學余先生的兒子，7個月，重18磅，胖嘟嘟的，加上單眼皮和只有額上長了一撮頭髮，活像一樽小佛。不過，那天中午看到他，沒有像5個月前活潑，是呆呆的、神智不清的樣子。他爸爸解釋，是剛起床，或者是可能因為兒子認不得父親，他對「生褓人」不活潑。

余先生在馬尼拉工作，只能每兩星期才回定一趟看兒子，而兒子每次都要個多小時後才能認出他。

這小東西還真是呆，被抱著動也不動。倒是我，抱者他，由落地鐵、上地鐵、到上茶樓，就換了不下50個姿勢。他實在是太重了，一直向下滑，每次當他爸接力時，我就得倚在手推車上喘氣。那推車不是給小東西坐的，而是給我們放手袋的，因為小東西不肯坐，一定是給縱壞了。

我記得我媽經常提起類似的故事。我小時候坐手推車也相當霸道，不準推車的人講話，集中力都得全在我身上。有次我媽與友人在公園推著我散步，兩個女人當然是要聊天了，但每當她們一出聲，我就嚎啕大哭，她們哄兩哄，我又笑了起來。幾次循環後，友人終於發現了：「頤頤好像不給我們說話呢！」

所以我想，小孩子都有這毛病！

抱著小孩子上街，就像溜狗，很容易給人搭訕。那天在地鐵裡短短20分鐘的車程，就分別有4個人上前逗小東西玩，然後向我問長問短。我也感到車上許多人的注意力，都在我和小東西身上，好不自然。說真的，我腳下兩寸高的高跟鞋，加一副吃力的樣子，那裡像一位母親嘛！

言歸正傳，經過那一趟後，我實在不願意再湊小孩子上街了。那天下午，我抄筆記和打字都有困難，手臂真是太酸了！

就像我之前在「契女」的文章中說過的，當母親實在是太偉大了。我那天只抱了小東西近45分鐘，之後上了茶樓，我就再不要抱他了。我真想像不到，要抱著一個小東西365天，直到他會走路，會是如何的苦況！余先生還說，他要趁兩兄還未結婚，他媽還有時間的時候，趕快再生一個！我想，真是難為了你妻子，經過懷胎十月、湊仔七月之後，再要來個懷胎十月？！再一次，我真的不敢想像！

剛才說起搭地鐵，又想起了另一件鉄事。

在今年新春期間，我一家人，與堂姊、堂兄嫂等幾行人，帶著侄女搭地鐵。這個細侄女，兩歲，像她爸，醜，還要是一個spoiled brad，極不可愛。我常說，醜不緊要，心地好還是有朋友的，但如果要又醜又討厭，那是神也不可赦免的罪！

那天，她走向等候列車排伍時，一手就推開站在前面、個子比她大的女孩。那個小女孩當然不服氣，正想「回禮」時，幸好我堂嫂（並不是侄女的媽，但把她視如己出）更快一步拉住侄女，並向那小女孩和小女孩的母親道歉，有驚無險。進入了車廂，這個被我堂嫂抱在手上的侄女，繼續活像隻猴子般，抓住那些扶手「飛來飛去」。我想，天呀，為何一點也不像女孩子，要是我是她媽，也真掉臉！

現在回想起來，還是心有餘悸。

狗屁不通

周六晚看了Downfall，講述第二次世界大戰時，德國被俄國攻陷，希特拉面臨決定是否投降的十字路口。有關第二第世界大戰的電影看得多，但由德國製片的，記憶中還是頭一次。片尾更由生存者——希特拉的秘書，片中的女主角——告白，她在戰後得知希特拉殺死了600萬猶太人時，認為自己並沒有錯，因為不知者無罪，但她現在想來，卻明白，不能以「無知」作藉口。

德國人能夠真實地面對歷史，坦誠地討檢罪行，才是應有的態度，國家才會進步。反觀日本，過了過半世紀，卻只一味地掩飾罪行，篡改歷史，蒙騙國民，真是教人氣憤！中國人發出憤怒的聲音，實是當之無愧。

溫總理也當面講了，日本實在應該檢討檢討，怎知日本官員竟無羞恥之心，說已檢討過了！而美國國務院這時候又站了出來，說對中國在反日示威中表現失控感到遺憾。我倒是看不到有甚麼失控，只看到中國銀行駐日本分行受到襲擊，和中國駐大阪總領事館，收到附有子彈殼的恐嚇信。美國就是喜歡做假警察，它為甚麼不在其裙下之臣，說出種種謊言時，吐出一句正義之言呢？

還是忍不住罵一句：狗屁！

發財了！

年初二財爺「派金」，拿回家後為求好意頭，擺在客廳的電視機上兩個禮拜捨不得吃，怎知道，等到媽媽吃時，只聽見她驚叫一聲，我還以為是長蟲了，原來竟是發芽了呢！罕有！就當是個好兆頭吧！

Arts Festival 2005

The Arts Festival was over a month ago. I went to three shows this year, in which one of them was a nightmare to me.

The show was called Little Prince Hamlet, and it was NOTHING like the Little Prince or Hamlet. Like the two literatures, I expected the show was a drama (my bad, didn't read the info carefully enough), but no, it was mostly dance, epilepsy-liked dance to be precise. Accompanied to the dance were some disturbing lights and disturbing music. My eyes actually pained after the show.

Why did I buy the ticket for the show? Because I read this:

Asian theatre's dynamic new generation

Setting off on a journey that begins with the famous tales of Antoine du Saint Exupery's The Little Prince and continues on to Shakespeare's masterpiece, Hamlet, six all-round talents from different Asian countries join hands to herald the next decade for Asian dance theatre.

From widely different cultural backgrounds and notions of beauty and aesthetics, the creativity of these young talents is synthesized and contrasted. Between them they develop provocative and tantalizing new perspectives that go beyond the roots of Asian arts traditions and the multi-media art forms imported from the West.

So from this experience, I learnt never trusting the flamboyant words on the leaflets again, it's only a mean of marketing. Same with the film festival, picking out a super good movie (and not boring) is like testing out luck.

Another show I watched was the Mozart Requiem. I went alone because I didn't bother to ask around to see who'd be interested, and indeed it turned out to be more appreciatory to watch an orchestra alone. But the performance itself was only mediocre though it's different from the conventions, because it added in Gregorian chants and poetry readings. By this, Conductor Malfred Haneck wrote, that he hopes the audience could come to a close look of how Mozart viewed death.

I don't know was it only the Hong Kong Philharmonic Orchestra, the musicians were not very professional to me. I'm not talking about their music, but the way they waited for they turn to perform. Some were looking around, a few were sitting with their legs spread (though they're in pants), and one was even resting his head on his arms which were on his knees.

The best show I watched, the Blind Boys of Alabama, was actually an unexpected one. Gospel singing in Southern accent was nostalgic to me, and the blind boys made a success in lighting up the spirit of every audience.