Jade Hunters

昨晚深夜看了60 Minutes和Hunter of Jade in China；我的靈魂深處，被當頭棒喝。

60 Minutes講述美國人千方百計苦候申請領養其他國家的孤兒；但與此同時，每年約500名美國「黑嬰兒」，卻要被export到外國。它們有些到了鄰近加拿大的白人家中，眼看很幸福，但自我認知、種族歧視等問題，卻隨著嬰兒長大，接踵而至。這些問題，是白人父母所料不及，也不懂如何處理的。一些輔導班也因此而成立。但其中一個最根本的解決辦法，可能就是讓有意領養的美國黑人家庭接觸有關訊息，讓他們知道，原來在他們的國家裡，也有很多有需要的嬰兒。

Hunter of Jade in China，則記錄艱苦的中國人，在中國偏遠地帶，採玉的情況。從不知道，我看來「老土」的玉塊，原來是以別人的生命時間，以及血和汗換來的。

攝製隊跟著三隊工人，到不同的高出礦林、惡劣天氣之中，花４個月去採玉。採玉期其實就只有４個月，時機一過，他們的採覓工作，就會因下雪而被迫停止。投資採玉的人，都並非大富大貴的商人，他們帶著簡陋的器材，和５至６個工人，一起覓玉。他們都是孤注一擲。

最後，兩隊在第４個月，找到些並非上等級的玉石，但起碼叫還了本；而另外一隊，就不幸要虧本而回。

當中一隊，找王了一塊過１００磅的玉石。一位「比較有野心」的工人，自告奮勇把玉石抬回到６哩外的營地。旁白說：他的夢想使他一直向前。這塊玉為他換來的錢雖然不多，但足夠他買一台摩托車，運送做小買賣。他心中亦想著一個人，這趟回可以和她結婚，和把現在胸前戴著、自己用玉石碎塊雕成的心形吊咀，送給她。在鋪滿雪的崎嶇山路上，他抬了１０小時，才回到了營地。

這塊玉石經過雕琢後，可以賣超過３０萬，但工人一天的工錢，才只有３０元。

常忘記，遠在天邊，近在眼前，在祖國的國度裡，有許多的人，為糊口和「夢想」，去付出時間和血汗。

我喜歡explore cultural and social issues。

比起政治，它令我更有滿足感。一種更實在的感覺。

我的夢想不在這裡；軌，我會逐步上去的。

我不高興，可能，它真的不適合我。

看著jade hunters，我對自己說：why am i still complaining about my job?

Feeling Good

by Michael Buble

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom in the tree
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when the day is done
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Yeah freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

And I'm feeling good

水仙仙子

他們並沒有特別喜愛我，也沒有認為我能為新的一年帶來甚麼；我只是家族的一份禮物。

我是真的沒有能力，帶給他們甚麼。

第25回來到這裡，再感受到他的孤獨；他沒有了兩年前的如沐春風和意氣風發，也比去年增了多絲憔悴。

我看得出，在既常的讚美聲下，他腦子裡盤旋著其他事情。

我感到他心中的石頭，隨著年月越堆越多。

我聽到他的呼吸聲，節奏不一，時快時慢。甚至停頓。

眉心之間，有那不能承受的壓力。

生命可以輕輕鬆鬆，也可以執著的過；新的一年可以充滿希望，也可以故步自封。他這樣傲慢的人，我知道他會怎過。我只有祝福他。

這是我唯一可作的。

Happy Chinese New Year

Ca va my fellow bloggers, here we have entered the second month of 2005. I haven't contributed much, or any to be exact, in the past month to my blog, but how did it still manage to get 200 viewers?

I went to the new year market at Victoria Park tonight. I like to do this ritual for Chinese new year, in order to get the taste of the atmosphere and prepare my mental self for it. The sense of tradition.

But really, it's merely a ritual, the part of tradition has long gone. Last year I went to the market with two very westernized guy friends, well that's because they're not from Hong Kong. We went in with the intention to experience Chinese culture, but came out with only clouds of awkwardness over our head. They bombarded me with sarcastic remarks like "Why are they selling Korean made vacuum cleaner?" "Oh Hello Kitty tissue container." "I think this dried squid is the highlight of the market." I just laughed if off.

Welcome to Hong Kong in the 21th century.

I'm not saying it's bad, afterall, a city cannot progress carrying the whole burden of history.

Last month I visited Hokkaido, that's part of the reason why I haven't been writing. The other reason was that I've been very stressed out by work. My mood is now all dependent on my work performance, which is evaluated on a daily basis, sometimes by my boss, but mostly by myself. So when I felt that I had written some good stories, I would be thrilled for the rest of the night, if not, I would then become helplessly depressed. A pressure from within is at worst.

More will be on the trip to Hokkaido.